What If SLAYER Were Gangstas?


Recently, I did a post about Gizoogle.net. Since then I’ve had some people tell me that it’s racist while others laugh hysterically. I’m not a racist person by any means, but I do know when there is humor to be found in something. I decided to Gizoogle “Slayer bio” and see what came up. The following came from their Wikipizzle page (Wikipedia). I can’t stop laughing.

Slayer be a Gangsta thrash metal crew formed up in Huntington Park, California up in 1981 by turntablists Kerry Mackdaddy n’ Jeff Hanneman.Slayer rose ta mainstream hype wit they 1986 release Reign up in Blood, n’ is credited as one of tha “Big Four” thrash metal acts, along wit Metallica, Megadeth n’ Anthrax.Slayerz salez is up in tha estimated high 20 millions, although they have never publicly announced they salez ghettowide. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat between tha muthafuckin years 1991 n’ 2004, Slayer sold over 3.5 mazillion mixtapes up in tha U.S.

Yo, slayerz musical steez involve fast tremolo picking, double bass drumming, n’ shouted vocals. In tha original gangsta line-up, Mackdaddy, basehead /vocalist Tomothy Araya n’ turntablist Jeff Hanneman contributed ta tha bandz lyrics, n’ most of tha bandz noize was pimped n’ arranged by Mackdaddy n’ Hanneman, wit additionizzle help from disc jockey Dizzle Lombardo n’ sometimes Araya. Da bandz lyrics n’ mixtape art, which cover topics like fuckin serial killers, necrophilia, Satanism, religion, anti-religion n’ warfare, have generated mixtape bans, delays, lawsuits n’ jive-ass shiznit from religious crews n’ tha public. Their noize has been highly influential, often bein cited by nuff bandz as a influence musically, visually n’ lyrically.

Yo, since they debut mixtape up in 1983, tha crew has busted out two live mixtapes, one box set, six videos, two extended plays n’ eleven studio mixtapes, four of which have received gold certification up in tha United Hoods. Da crew has received five Grammy nominations, ballin two of em. One up in 2007 fo’ tha cold lil’ woo wop “Eyez of tha Insane”, n’ one up in 2008 fo’ tha cold lil’ woo wop “Final Six” (both from 2006z Christ Illusion). Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Slayer has played noize gangbangs ghettowide, includin Unholy Alliance, Download n’ Ozzfest.

See the rest of Gizoogle’s translation here


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